Motivation: Discovering The Best Environment

“Which environment is best for our daughter?”

&

“How can we raise our daughter to thrive and assimilate in any environment…competitive or not?” 

When I consider a competitive environment as potentially the best environment for our daughter, the age old question of Nature vs. Nurture springs to mind. I have decided that one's development is a driven by both…and thus it is imperative for my wife and I to not only fully develop what nature has given us but also (and simultaneously) offer the benefits of external "reinforcements" as well.

Putting our daughter in the "right environment" can involve anything from surrounding her with people who contribute positively to an environment of competition and defining particular norms, to surrounding her with the natural wonders of the world to observe independently... or both.  At some point in her future some of these (either "natural" or "nurtured") tenants may be lacking and she may need to rely more heavily on one than the other…like a crutch bearing the additional weight after one loses the use of one leg.

Social Psychology breaks “Motivation in Education” down into two main branches: Intrinsic (or self) Motivation and Extrinsic (or outside) Motivation.

Although I believe we are a collection of all our experiences and all of those that touch us (from a "hello" offered by a complete stranger to being married, for 50 years, to your best friend) I think the greatest impact on character is deeply ingrained during our more formative years by our parent(s) and/or guardian(s). 

I acknowledge that no development ever occurs in a vacum. However, I believe my values and ethics are more a result of my parents' nurturing than of external influences like my hometown or the schools I've attended. My mother and father exposed me to so much of the world, provided countless outlets to discover nature, passed down their own values (likely influenced by their parents) and promoted intrinsic motivation with love, attention, patience and perhaps, at times, a bit too much praise. 

"That what urges children toward civilized life is the love they bear to the persons who educate them, and, little by little, the possibility of tasting some of the comforts which are undoubtedly an aid to civilized life." - Maria Montessori

If External Influences and developed Extrinsic Motivators are variables due to their reliance on uncontrollable outside elements (and can thus prove elusive at times), then logic would dictate that an educational foundation based on the development of Intrinsic Motivation is more likely to better equip children to be competent learners and performers in the potential absence of Extrinsic Motivation… and thus thrive far beyond a basic competence if and when Extrinsic Motivation is in great supply. In short, I would rather my daughter’s level of success in achieving her goals rely more heavily on her self-gratification than on the reinforcement / praise by others.

Intrinsic Motivation:

"Intrinsic motivation refers to motivation that is driven by an interest or enjoyment in the task itself, and exists within the individual rather than relying on external pressures or a desire for reward. Intrinsic motivation has been studied since the early 1970s. Students who are intrinsically motivated are more likely to engage in the task willingly as well as work to improve their skills, which will increase their capabilities.

Extrinsic Motivation:

"Extrinsic motivation refers to the performance of an activity in order to attain an outcome, whether or not that activity is also intrinsically motivated. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside of the individual. Common extrinsic motivations are rewards (for example money or grades) for showing the desired behavior, and the threat of punishment following misbehavior. Competition is in an extrinsic motivator because it encourages the performer to win and to beat others, not simply to enjoy the intrinsic rewards of the activity. A cheering crowd and the desire to win a trophy are also extrinsic incentives.[7]"

Comparison of Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation:

"Social psychological research has indicated that extrinsic rewards can lead to over justification and a subsequent reduction in intrinsic motivation. In one study demonstrating this effect, children who expected to be (and were) rewarded with a ribbon and a gold star for drawing pictures spent less time playing with the drawing materials in subsequent observations than children who were assigned to an unexpected reward condition.[8] While the provision of extrinsic rewards might reduce the desirability of an activity, the use of extrinsic constraints, such as the threat of punishment, against performing an activity has actually been found to increase one's intrinsic interest in that activity. In one study, when children were given mild threats against playing with an attractive toy, it was found that the threat actually served to increase the child's interest in the toy, which was previously undesirable to the child in the absence of threat.[9]

For those children who received no extrinsic reward, self-determination theory proposes that extrinsic motivation can be internalized by the individual if the task fits with their values and beliefs and therefore helps to fulfill their basic psychological needs.”

We witnessed numerous signs that Intrinsic Motivation was being employed when we first visited our daughter's school (Baan Dek Montessori). Through the school's focus on: fostering independence, minimizing distractions, opening outlets to nature, challenging each student in a mixed-age environment and allowing students to make their own mistakes; we felt the students seemed to take more of a personal ownership in their learning and thus develop their own gratification of arriving at correct answers...at their own pace.

Po Bronson presented a unique perspective on motivation and competition onKQED’s Forumwhere he discussed his (and co-author Ashley Merryman’s) book Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing

“The performance-enhancing effects of competition and teams do not apply only at elite levels such as the Olympics or in physical match-ups. Competitions held in classrooms and lunch rooms across the country also push kids to do better. In finite games, you compete and then you let it go, and you have rest and recuperation – that’s actually really important for kids. It’s the continuous sense of pressure that is unhealthy for them.

Equally not advantageous is the act of always letting kids win

"It’s a common scene: a child and an adult race, and the adult holds back to allow the child the thrill of winning or perhaps, more realistically, to avoid tears. But losing is a lesson everyone should learn. If kids don’t learn to lose they’re going to feel entitled to win. They’re also going to make a connection that fear of losing is going to prevent them from taking the risk in the first place. And what kids do need to learn is losing is not that big a deal. They need to learn to lose and go ‘Oh, whatever,’ and move on and keep playing."

But if and when you do let them win, base that decision on their effort.

In conclusion, I believe the ferocity of competition and social norms within any environment, while significant, holds much less influence on a child's development than active and involved parents who recognize:

"...that human beings do not live by nourishment and oxygen alone, as we have carelessly thought, but they live by means of many other natural elements. Being in contact with the earth, the sun, and the vegetable life of plants is like drinking from the very springs of our life. And these principles, which we might call materialistic and physiological, are just now appearing on the pedagogical horizon."- Maria Montessori's March 27, 1913 adress "Nature in Education" as edited by AMI Journal Special, July 2013

There are pros and cons to raising and educating children in any environment and in any institution. The best environment for empowering any child (or more specifically, our daughter) is not the one that meets any measure of excellence or serves a reliance on external influences like competition to aid in the development of our daughter's "survival" skills. The best environment is any one where we, as parents, are: safe, healthy, happy and can best afford the most time, educational resources and personal attention to invest in the most wonderful journey of loving, learning and sharing that is parenthood. 

Environmental Influences: Competition, Adaptation & Evolution

I am pondering whether our daughter would be more empowered to succeed in the pursuit of our ambitious goal for her (to effect  positive change in the world) if placed in a competitive environment that promotes the development of survival skills, or if she would be better off rarely having to exercise those skills at all.

A behavior is always to be taken transactionally: i.e., never as of the organism alone, any more than of the   environment alone, but always as of the organic-environmental situation, with   organisms and environmental objects taken as equally its aspect. 
  ---- Dewey and Bentley, 1949

I began researching competitive environments in an effort to discover what defines or establishes “professional standards” and “social expectations”.  After coming across a quote by Criss Jami,  I seriously considered my level of professional expectations, to some extent, a deficit or “flaw”… a result of my own limited exposure and inability to appreciate the polarity of competitive vs. slower paced markets and thus having my own limited perspective / environment form what are perhaps ego-centric expectations.

Criss Jami writes: 

“Self-righteousness is much like a spiritual egocentricity. It constitutes a secular type of love that thrives under conditionality, one in which is only existent after an individual meets the adopted standards of the condemner; oppositely, unconditional love is a holy love.” 
― Criss Jami, Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile

Jami’s writing got me thinking deeper about what specific differences I was perceiving from market to market and I was reminded of my Grandpop Pete, who was a self-made millionaire and serial entrepreneur-

On Pride & Promotion:

"If you’re going to do any job at all,” he used to say “do it to the best of your ability. The result will be something special... When they asked me to sweep a floor in the Navy; I made damn sure I was going to be the best floor sweeper they had ever seen!"

It’s not much of a stretch to correlate “The Will to Succeed” with the similar “Will to Survive”.

Which causes me to consider my particular concept of “professional standards" as a learned survival skill which, inherently, would only be suited for particular environments.

Perhaps one’s conception of "professional standards" is as subjective as beauty…as pace…as rhythm. It’s certainly plausible that everyone’s own idea of “excellence” may be unique. Perhaps mine is merely a result of appreciating an unnecessarily high level of attention to detail and efficiency that has evolved in an densely populated environment saturated with proficiency... and thus demands it, if for no other reason... than to enable some to “stand out” in a crowd and “survive” professionally in an over-crowded and thus overly-competitive marketplace.  

 If population and market dynamics among cities, regions or countries vary significantly then “standards of excellence” may very well be as variable as cultural norms throughout the globe.

The question as to “Which environment is better for our daughter?”, has now evolved into “How can we raise our daughter to thrive and easily assimilate in any environment…competitive or not?

In asking myself these questions, I begin to question my own current social expectation theory: that “survival” is inexorably linked with adaptability - a trait of natural selection “adopted” to ensure survival….much like “industrial melanism” as postulated by Michael Majerus in “Melanism -Evolution in Action”

“Industrial Melanism” as postulated by Michael Majerus:

The light-colored form of the moth, known as typica, was the predominant form in England prior to the beginning of the industrial revolution. Shown at left, the typica moth's speckled wings are easy to spot against a dark background, but would be difficult to pick out against the light-colored bark of many trees common in England.

Around   the middle of the 19th   century, however, a new form of the moth began   to appear. The first report of   a dark-colored peppered moth was made in 1848. By 1895, the frequency in Manchester had reached a reported level of 98% of the moths.

This dark-colored form is known as carbonaria, and (as shown at right), it is easiest to see against a light background. As you can well imagine, carbonaria   would be almost invisible against a dark   background, just as typica would be difficult to see against a   light background. The increase in carbonaria moths was so dramatic that many naturalists made the immediate suggestion that it had to be the result of the effects of industrial activity on the local landscape.

As noted on page 297 of the  Elephant Book, coal burned during the early decades of the industrial   revolution produced soot that blanketed the countryside of the industrial areas of England between London and Manchester. Several naturalists noted   that the typica form was more common in the countryside, while the carbonaria moth prevailed in the sooty regions.  Not surprisingly, many jumped to the conclusion that the darker moths had some sort of survival advantage in the newly-darkened landscape.

In recent years, the burning of  cleaner fuels and the advent of Clean Air laws has changed the countryside even in industrial areas, and the sootiness that prevailed during the 19th century is all but gone from urban England. Coincidentally, the prevalence of the carbonaria form has declined dramatically. In fact, some biologists suggest that the dark forms will be all but extinct within a few decades.

For evolutionary biologists, the question behind the rise and fall of the carbonaria form is "Why?" Why should the dark phenotype have appeared so suddenly, come to dominate the population in industrial areas, and then have declined just as sharply when levels of pollution declined? To many biologists, the   answer seemed obvious. In areas where pollution had darkened the landscape, the darker moths were better camouflaged and less like to be eaten by birds. Under less-polluted conditions, the light-colored moths prevailed for similar reasons.

But was the obvious answer correct? That's what Kettlewell set out to check in a series of classic   studies carried out in the 1950s. As described in Chapter 14 of the text, his results seemed to confirm that background camouflage was the key”

Other examples of surviving through adaptation & evolution born out of competition can be seen in forests: 

“Forest trees grow tall to compete with their neighbors for light. The competition is fierce, and the stakes are high. Most tree species can't reproduce without winning a place in the forest canopy. The evolution of trees is thought to be a kind of race; every time one species acquires the ability to get taller, it ups the ante for all the other species around it."

Taken from: http://www.dnr.state.mn.us/volunteer/janfeb10/tree_growth.html

Now considering the following:

Social Norms _"...people tend to adopt social norms and to tailor their behavior to meet the expectations those norms provide. When others do not meet these expectations, misunderstanding and conflict can result, or it can cause an individual to re-examine his expectations."

Social Roles- "Social roles are largely the result of internalizing normative behavior. By internalizing social roles, people learn what kinds of behavior are expected of them and adopt a set of expectations for the behavior of others. Social roles are considered social constructions, in that there is nothing inherent or essential about such behavior; instead, it is considered to be the result of social conditioning and acculturation."

--Cultural Expectations, Social Behavior and Interaction by: R.J. Rummel

Perhaps the best course of action is well-rounding our daughter as much as possible by exposing her to as many different environments as we can. This my serve to reinforce the inherent dangers of ego-centrism---namely, the frustration that often occurs a result of not being able to easily assimilate.

I heard a sermon recently, by pastor Jeff Wheeler of Central Baptist church here in Sioux Falls, - who spoke about Mark 5:19 and the value of leading an "oikos-centric" life. He was right. Considering a greater purpose of our lives, as the source of some possible service to our larger community/"oikos", has led me into an awareness and a re-alignment of my focus beyond the importance of having my own wants and expectations met...into remembering what I often tell clients: "...possibilities for greater things only reveal themselves when we take a step back and pause from the distractions of ourselves to see the bigger picture." 

DMSMS: Is Handwriting Technically Obsolete?

When I was growing up, I remember having a small red and white GE Show n Tell “television” on which you could view color slides with a record player on the top which played  accompanying (or independently purchased) 45s. The soundtrack to “Grease” and an old Eddie Rabbit album with “Rainy Night” were my earliest memories of that technology. The red plastic ViewMaster 3Ds came along shorty thereafter with stories on a wheel of slides that instantly became one of the great advancements that made my childhood so amazing. I still remember my first Walkman and how amazed I was (we all were) that it was practically the same size as the cassette tape itself! Where did the technology fit!???

My daughter is growing up in an age where she has: three ipads to choose from when she goes potty, a library of videos on any car ride or flight and the ability to purchase and download apps on my wife’s iphone by age 2 ½. I see it as an amazing leap and an educational advantage… but these tools are also seen as over-indulgences and the beginnings of a devolution by others. I’ve heard the arguments against children having ipads that range from “…they serve as a mindless form entertainment that promote inactivity and laziness” to “…an expensive gateway to anti-social behavior and pornography addiction”  Call me crazy, but I think the same could be said for books and cable television if not properly supervised.

My 3 yr old daughter plays math games and word puzzles with her favorite Disney characters on her ipad and yes… also does stream some of her favorite Sprout and Disney Jr. shows… but only the ones we approve of. Shows with solid ethical content and educational undertones (ie; no shouting, kicking and insults dressed in humor from Spongebob Squarepants.) She even enjoys several music and painting programs…so much so that I’ve noticed that she prefers them to actually coloring with traditional Crayola crayons and markers. Which is where my concern came from. 

I recognize the value of equipping children with the tools that tomorrow’s technology will be based on. I recognize the necessity of a fundamental proficiency in modern technology in order to accomplish anything from operating whatever comes after the Blue Ray player to…open heart surgery.  But I worry about the delayed and possibly postponed learning of handwriting and the development of the manual dexterity required to hold a pencil. Everything she does seems to revolve around the sliding of a finger or opening and closing three or four fingers at once to zoom, shrink, pan and close.

A November 2013 post on Good.is pointed out:  “Not so fast with throwing handwriting in the dustbin, though. It turns out that cursive-type writing helps make CAPTCHAS—that series of letters you have to decipher to prove you're not an automated bot trying to buy online concert tickets—tougher for machines to read. If kids don't learn how to read cursive, they're going to have a tough time reading a CAPTCHA.

As TechCrunch aptly points out, researchers at Indiana University have found that children who learn and practice handwriting show brain activity that's similar to adults. "Typing does not do the same thing," says IU professor Karin Harman James. And, for all those conspiracy theorists out there, says TechCrunch, keep in mind that the Constitution is written in cursive. If Americans stop being able to read it, what will happen to the nation?”

I’m sure my grandparents had similar concerns when remote control televisions were first introduced but it moved me enough to seek the advice of the folks who own and operate my daughter’s Montessori School.  (Especially after buying a colored pencil set for her when she turned three and she told us: “…I’m not old enough to use these to trace shapes at school yet”). Her teachers informed us that, despite my concern, Catherine was on-track and that grasping a pencil well enough to trace simple shapes usually occurs around the age of 3 ½ - 4 years of age. I guess the overriding concern for my wife and me stemmed from so many of our childhood memories being built around crayons and the multitude of colors…not to mention the boxes they came in. Catherine seems so disinterested in them now that she has such vibrant art apps that not only allow her to choose the color with which to create, but the thickness and material of the virtual marker, paintbrush or stamp as well.

I have begun wondering if the tablets could actually be contributing to the obsolescence of handwriting all-together and perhaps, with my newfound Montessorial understanding of the connections between tangible physical comprehension and conceptual learning, something even greater. Like the "Hip-Bone" song...("...and the writing bone's connected to the ---???").

I began monitoring Catherine’s activity on her tablet more closely and realized that although her continued interest in apps like Dora’s Skywriter, Super Why’s Wands Up Writing and Lickety Letter Hunt, Montessorium’s Intro to Letters and Alpha Writer,etc.. supported her development of writing skills, she might benefit by our supplementing this kind of learning with an increased frequency of the more “manual” exercises she loves like watercolor, drawing and shopping list writing. Even her Mommy’s highly specialized field of pediatric surgery, which requires an incredible amount of manual dexterity and “feel”, has incorporated robotics into the mix. Although the use of robotics has been well-documented as advantageous for many reasons, I can’t help but call to mind the countless stories of her teaching residents how to feel for anatomy or the art of sewing a newborn’s abdominal wall closed which she has likened to “…sewing wet tissue together”. 

Although Smithsonian.com ran an article in March of 2013 siting: A survey in the US in 1960 found that the decision to teach cursive in elementary schools was “based mainly on tradition and wide usage, not on research findings.” One school director said that public expectancy and teachers’ training were the main reasons, and that “we doubt that there is any significant advantage in cursive writing.” According to Wallace, nothing has changed: “The reasons to reject cursive handwriting as a formal part of the curriculum far outweigh the reasons to keep it.” (Read more: http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/smartnews/2013/03/is-cursive-handwriting-going-extinct/#ixzz2Zck8Drsz)...

we are animals that are part of a physical world. Technology’s next great leap is likely to be a return to the “physical” by re-creation through tactile feedback and response. Nothing will surpass the level of skill in and understanding of our world based in a physical learning and manipulation of things. I would not be surprised to see that manual dexterity and the ability to write code as the two most highly prized skill-sets in the next decade.

Bill Graves of the Oregonian reported: “Students today "are not doing this kind of craftsmanship activity that they used to do on a daily basis," he says.

They also may be losing an edge in their learning. Researchers using magnetic resonance imaging to study brain activity say handwriting, whether print or cursive, engages more of the brain in learning and forming ideas.” 

With that in mind, I went, with a mission, to find a thinner ipad friendly stylus, scented crayons, sparkly pens that light up...anything to encourage more drawing and/or writing on paper. To my surprise (and delight) I stumbled on a local toy store (Kidtopia) that not only sells everything you've ever seen in any toy catalog, but has developmental and educational games I've never even heard of. One in particular being "A to Z Magnatab" by kidO (see photos below) boards with ball bearings that rise to the surface when you trace the shape of a printed or cursive letter with a magnetized pen. I also found: scented pencils & crayons, pens that make animal sounds and light-up when you write with them and even a fishing game for the tub that requires reeling in the "fish" after you hook one.  

With the help of exceptional educators, progressive toy manufacturers and mindful parents, handwriting just might survive... and not end up like hieroglyphics.   

Mass Production: Behind The Scenes Of Dinner Aboard A Disney Cruise Ship

The trip my family took aboard the Disney Dream was indeed magical. Everyone enjoyed themselves tremendously and I was given a rare opportunity to perform some naturalistic observation research on Disney Cruise Line's food service operations.  I was excited to observe, first-hand, systems utilized by all 165 of their cooks (actually 164... after one was fired and sent home after a hand washing violation). With approx 20 cooks on each of the restaurants' lines, except for Palo which has a team of 7, the need for effective communication and efficiency is high.  A huge number of people are served aboard these ships (ours held 4,000 and on this particular voyage there were 3,842) so the restaurants operate at a level of efficiency akin to that of a military operation... which means: achieving the greatest level of precision with the least amount of "collateral damage". The key is focusing on the big picture (or "mission") which is getting a lot of food, cooked properly, to the right people at the right time. It's not about innovative cerebral cuisine expertly prepared with light-handed nuances. Therefore, disappointing those guests with lofty expectations of having one of the best meals they've ever eaten... is what I am referring to as "collateral damage". On my back-stage tour, I learned a few unique ways Disney effectively satisfies their loyal customers... which made for very useful souvenirs to take home with me.

The Acupuncture of Design: Our First Trip To Disney

The Acupuncture of Design: When intentionally and purposefully manipulated, the collective (and often subconscious) impact of the smallest mundane details can have a more significant impact on one's experience than any other singular element regardless of it's size or perceived importance...i.e, the assemblage of: real estate, fine details or elements of architecture, accent lighting, air temperature and movement, background noise, the volume of music in the room, color palate, the finish on boardroom furniture or established flow patterns and travel paths within restaurants and hotels.  

I coined this term in an effort to highlight and pay homage to the value in a multitude of ancillary elements that, when used individually, may not amount to much but when used in concert, have a visceral effect on customers. Artfully implementing small devices synergistically first requires seeing customers as an audience whose escape from their routine requires some suspension of disbelief. Providing a multi-leveled sensual escape makes it possible to achieve an overall appeal with your product or place which is often inexplicable to the untrained participant much like camera angles and soundtracks impart fear or excitement to those viewing a film.

These subtleties are rarely noted or quantified by many but always on the minds of those in the hospitality industry and nowhere have I witnessed this more than Walt Disney'sTheme Parks and Cruise Liners.

Some of the more conspicuous details are of great importance widely. From the temperature of the room to the pattern in the carpet. In fact, Las Vegas is famous for manipulating these so well they are often referred to as “tactics”.  Oxygenated air and dizzying patterns on the casino floors virtually intoxicate patrons before their first complimentary Jack & Coke.

When working for high-concept restaurant companies on the East and West Coasts, I would instruct restaurant managers in younger sexier concepts that catered to twenty and thirty somethings to keep it loud, dark and cold. Those are the number one turn-offs for (and complaints from) older guests who will either get up and leave a restaurant or not return….due to their not being able to read a menu, not being able to have a quiet conversation or being far too cold. You don’t want to ask a party of senior citizens to leave the restaurant and yet you don’t want to discourage the young beautiful people from filling the place…and those young good-time seekers won't sit down for even one drink if they see a place filled with patrons that remind them of their parents. There is a huge and profitable market in satisfying everyone with one concept but unless your selling cheeseburgers and ice cream, taking on the job of satisfying everyone offers a bigger opportunity for failure...or worse, mediocrity. 

Even Facebook’s popularity among Millennials has waned since more moms, dads and even grandparents are now posting. If you want to experience Snapchat kind of growth as the most popular place in town, you have to be fresh, cool, fun and exclusive.  After all, if there isn't a significant population of older wealthy patrons in your demographic, you likely need to make your numbers by filling the place with younger people who are going to spend money more frequently and younger clientele are typically more comfortable with people their own age. The trick is attraction and retention...and there are a lot of small details that can be manipulated in order to accomplish both.

The reverse also holds true in venues where operators have a significant number of baby boomers in the market to capture. Larger menus with bolder font, softer music, warmer room temperatures and brighter lights are gateways to lingering mature guests and higher check averages. Higher price points are an absolute advantage when you have a specialized service or menu and are charging over $100 a plate or upwards of $350 for a chef’s tasting menu...which in itself is an effective barrier to younger more boisterous customers which makes the atmosphere unappealing for that particular demographic.  

At Disney, every sight line, every sense and every moment of one’s experience seems to be expertly calculated from the perspectives of both young and old guests alike. Multi-generational concepts mutually coexist and oftentimes work symbiotically to keep all guests, young and old alike, entertained and entrenched within their own personal escapes.

From being "presented" (announced upon arrival) in an old world hospitable style on their cruise ships’ grand entrance to the authentic visual harmony created by rescue boats perched along side the ship that are painted the exact same shade of black as Mickey Mouse’s shoes.

And the parks are no different from the cruise line. Wonderful surprises await guests around every corner. Granted there are no spontaneous encounters with Goofy hopping into your stateroom elevator at the park, but the park staff  (especially those in character suits) are equally friendly and uniquely engaging. Play areas are incorporated into the waiting lines for rides and “Splash-n-Soak” stations strategically placed to cool off the small (and big) kids in between attractions. Even the transportation throughout the Magic Kingdom is provided on a tram that has been transformed into an old steam locomotive for those who remember those times past and those whose only reference may have been a film or Lionel set beneath a few Christmas trees as children.  

Just as hospitality goes far beyond comfortable accommodations, fantastic decor and high thread counts, restaurants are not just about cooking food and delivering it to customers. My tour with the Executive Sous Chef, through the main galley / kitchen on The Disney Dream cruise ship displayed Disney's same recognition. An equal level of importance was placed on consistency and quality from the kitchen as it was on entertaining the youngest guests in various themed dining rooms. The unobtrusive beverage service is on equal footing with the timing of food coming out of the kitchen proving that the creation of any enjoyable experience that defies conventional dining is where the magic resides.

Restaurants (and most physical retail experiences) exist to entertain us… like Disney. Extraordinary restaurants are not simply selling a food product as much as they are selling a feeling of importance, being appreciated and being entertained to their customers...or audience.  This time honored concept has been illustrated everywhere from Bern's Steakhouse in Tampa FLA to The Inn At Little Washington in VA but equally mastered, if not more so, at Disney Theme Parks and within every restaurant aboard their cruise ships. In "The Animator's Palace" Crush (The surfer dude sea turtle star from Disney/Pixar's 2003 Finding Nemo) works the crowd, "tablevision-to-tablevision", with his interactive personalized swim-up comedy routine.

This sense of hospitality is even expressed lyrically in the classic Disney film Bedknobs and Broomsticks:

“…The future is ours
As the shine sells the boot
And the blossoms the fruit
All you need to succeed in your plan
Is the proper ally
Upon whom to rely
And I'm your man…

With my expert pantomiming
The proper taste and timing
I'll introduce you in the monogram

I'll wet their appetite for you
I'll set the scene so right for you
We'll have the beggars eating out of your hand

As the words sell the tune
And the moon beams the moon.”

When restaurants successfully create a special "sizzle" for their steak, an escape from the ordinary is created. A distraction from customers’ everyday responsibilities, stresses and obligations. If I had to reduce every retailer’s mission statement to just three words…they would be “Make People Happy”.  Hospitality is about creating a time and place where people feel relaxed, welcomed and well-cared for.

To better emphasize this, one might consider Maslow’s Theory of Human Hierarchy of Needs and Human Motivation. 

• Each need level is "evoked" to the degree that the organism is "threatened" or "unsatisfied" at that level.
• In general, lower levels supersede higher levels when the organism's "degree of satisfaction" at the lower level is "threatened".
• A need that has been satisfied for a long time may lose the ability to assert itself.
• An individual may become "fixated" at a given level.
• Needs tend to me more unconscious than not.

7. Aesthetic / I like this place

6. Know & Understand / I know where I am

5. Self Actualize / I am recognized here

4. Esteem or Ego / I am valued here

3. Love & Belonging / I fit in here

2. Safety & Security / I am safe here

1. The Psychological Self / I belong here - This is my place

Although many may disagree with me… I believe that, as far as the average customer is concerned, food quality is often the less-important offering in a restaurant. Don’t get me wrong…if the food is bad, they probably won’t be back, but restaurants exist to provide a far deeper form of sustenance and depending on how well that sustenance is delivered… it can actually make the food taste “better”.  If you’ve ever been on a vacation in the islands and drinking a frozen rum runner or pina colada while sitting on the beach enjoying tropical breezes and the sounds of steel drum music playing in the background, and then consumed that same exact drink six months later in your tool shed or garage, I guarantee you that it wouldn't taste half as good.  Much of that appreciation is sensual. It comes along with being in that tropical paradise and smelling the tropical air. Those small details and a million others are experienced simultaneously with the frozen cocktail... and the overall impact touches us far more deeply than a simple recipe.   

Much like a science fiction novel or film that caters to our innate desire for escape and plays our body’s involuntary release of serotonin and tryptophan upon fantasizing about adventure or victory; a well-thought out restaurant experience can transport a customer into an alternate realm.

Studies have shown that measurable amounts of endorphins are released and overall optimism surges when test groups are asked to imagine ways of spending lottery winnings.  Their bodies physically respond in similar ways to the way they would if they had actually won. It’s easy for most of us to surrender ourselves to that fantasy. Its easy to imagine winning if we've ever won anything...and having a lot of money to manage if we've ever had any.  Just as a cinematographer or stage performer seeks to evoke excitement, comedy, drama and/or sheer wonder and joy, If a chef sends food out from the kitchen that doesn't meet or exceed expectations, it’s like the premise of a film being so far beyond the realm of possibility that it’s simply too fantastic to believe…but if the multitude of other stimuli is entertaining, comforting, engaging and/or pleasurable… it becomes possible to suspend disbelief for a moment (as is the case in most sci-fi films and music concerts) or in the case of a restaurant, not notice or care how over-cooked the burger might be.  

Just as the many facets of a film or music production affect our emotional responses, every incalculable detail within a physical space affects our comfort (or discomfort) level as well...whether its immediately distinguishable or not.  We are creatures who respond to stimulus whether it’s consciously or sub-consciously. Ask any seasoned poker player about “tells” and they will explain how our bodies, independent of our will, respond to stimuli whether we want them to or not.

If you can make someone feel welcomed and comfortable, you will be satiating them on a level that they may not even realize they are craving…and as Maslow concludes, may be mistaking for hunger:

“It should be pointed out again that any of the physiological needs and the consummatory behavior involved with them serve as channels for all sorts of other needs as well. That is to say, the person who thinks he is hungry may actually be seeking more for comfort, or dependence, than for vitamins or proteins. Conversely, it is possible to satisfy the hunger need in part by other activities such as drinking water or smoking cigarettes. In other words, relatively isolable as these physiological needs are, they are not completely so.

Undoubtedly these physiological needs are the most proponent of all needs. What this means specifically is that in the human being who is missing everything in life in an extreme fashion, it is most likely that the major motivation would be the physiological needs rather than any others. A person who is lacking food, safety, love, and esteem would most probably hunger for food more strongly than for anything else.

If all the needs are unsatisfied, and the organism is then dominated by the physiological needs, all other needs may become simply nonexistent or be pushed into the background. It is then fair to characterize the whole organism by saying simply that it is hungry, for consciousness is almost completely preempted by hunger. All capacities are put into the service of hunger-satisfaction, and the organization of these capacities is almost entirely determined by the one purpose of satisfying hunger. The receptors and effectors, the intelligence, memory, habits, all may now be defined simply as hunger-gratifying tools”. 

Quoted from Motivation and Personality, Chapter 4
© 1970 by Abraham H. Maslow

Even my veterinarian, Dr. Joseph Spoo, told me recently: "...the reason we have so many obese dogs is that, in our increasingly busy lives, there is such a lack of personal contact and connection with our pets that the most significant amount of interaction [and thus perceptible happiness or excitability]  dogs often get is at mealtimes or when we give them treats...why we see so many dogs licking their bowls clean and being over-fed"  

There is so much small stimuli that affects behavior, thought and emotion....including things like: body language, the color of our clothing, the color of a room, where we position ourselves in a room…even particular scents in the air. The many ways in which we subtly affect those around us, be it neighbors, children or customers, results in how they feel...and feelings often drive perception.

(See: The Road Less Traveled, How to Win Friends and Influence People & Adam Alter's Drunk Tank Pink).

Comedian Eddie Izzard is certainly not the first to say it... but I love his routine ("Dressed To Kill") and his delivery of historical evidence which proves the idea that: [It’s not what you say as much as how you say it. It’s 70% How You Look, 20% How You Sound and only 10% What You Say...] The point is,  I see all of these variables as tiny pins or acupuncture needles that alone are so small and insignificant but when they are all applied at the right time and in the right place with a high level of awareness and elevated EQ, they can have an overwhelmingly significant impact...and Disney not only "gets" this, but displays their mastery of this, like sorcery, at every magical turn. 

Behind the Curtain: Photos of One Dry Cleaner's Station Flow

A Follow-up to my previous post: photos from my backstage tour at the dry cleaners. 

New Lenses: Evaluating A Business' Process Management From A Montessorial Perspective

In the book The Innovator’s DNA: Mastering the five skills of disruptive innovators, the authors state, “Innovative break-throughs often happen at the intersection of diverse disciplines and fields.” It’s true, there is often merit in taking ideas and innovations from one industry and applying it to one that is unrelated. Travel writer, Giles Foden, has a “cinematic approach” to gain different perspectives in his writing; by varying the lenses through which Foden views the world, he captures the story he wants to tell. On a parallel plain, varying the lens, from wide-lens to zoom may have you seeing your business with fresh perspective.

Carmen Morgan – The Writing on The Wall

I enjoy discovering how things work. And Since I don’t have a job yet, I’ve been spending a lot of time observing business models (mostly retail) and finding a lot of value in looking at them from a “Montessorial perspective”…which is to say, deconstructing their most basic function(s) and then tracing the process backwards from the end of the customer experience back to the production process. It’s how I see my three year old daughter learning mathematics. Her Montessori teachers have broken math down to the core elements of: patience, dexterity, counting and the physical comprehension of quantity

Studying business operations is stimulating largely because of the challenge presented when conventional process systems are often broken to some degree and with a small amount of adjustment…what I like to call: “microfinement of process management”, you can usually find greater efficiency for the multitude of people any single transaction or service affects in it’s lifespan.

The challenging aspect of recognizing curable inefficiencies or identifying potential process improvements is the necessity to view the entire process from an “outside” and “far-sighted” perspective so that every degree of future impact separation can be considered from a distance like a position on a map.

I was going through my closet the other day when it occurred to me that although I was satisfied with the job my dry cleaner was doing with my clothes…all of my shirts seemed to be facing the wrong direction. Instead of the hooks of the hangers making a question mark…they opened to the opposite side (to the right). After trying to relocate the shirts on different bars throughout the closet, I realized that the only fix to this problem was to unbutton every shirt and put them back on the hangers after turning the hanger around so that the hooks of the hangers formed a question mark (opening to the left instead of to the right).

Every article of clothing my drycleaner hung (from my wife’s dresses to my sport jackets) faced the “wrong way”. On our recent move from Philadelphia to Sioux Falls, I had transported a few of shirts and suits that had been dry cleaned in Philadelphia and never came out of the dry cleaning plastic sheaths they were picked-up in.  While in the process of pairing shirts up with suits, I noticed that I was able to slide all of the suits still covered in plastic (from my Philadelphia drycleaner) to the right while standing on the left and viewing them from the front. When I placed a recently dry cleaned shirt in front of these particular suits, the shirt was facing away from me and I was unable to view the pairing as it would appear when worn.   

Thinking that this may just have been the standard operating procedure of one particular dry cleaner…and being happy with that dry cleaner, I made a mental note to ask them if it would be possible to put my shirts facing in the opposite direction upon my next visit.

It wasn't until several trips later to the dry cleaner that I remembered and had asked if it was possible for them to accommodate my peculiar request. The owner of the dry cleaner informed me that they were unable to change the direction of the hangers since all of the garments go through “a machine” and are all hung in the same direction. I tried to explain why I believed all of the shirts were being put on hangers facing in the wrong direction but I was not successful in effectively communicating my point. I dismissed this minor inconvenience like a man who continues to work with slightly broken tools…until I went to a new dry cleaner out of convenience before a trip out of town. I noticed they too had shirts and dresses hung in a similar fashion. 3 dry cleaners later it occurred to me that most every dry cleaner in town was hanging their shirts and what I had decided was the wrong direction. That should have been sufficient evidence that I was the one whose perspective required some adjustment...but regardless of how hard I tried to accept it, it still bothered me.

I mentioned this to a few friends who dismissed my attention to this minutia of detail as not only silly but also irrelevant and uninteresting. “Seriously?...Who cares?” they said. But my discomfort with this process intrigued me as if it were a puzzle…or a movie title I couldn't remember. I gave it some serious thought and realized that in a world where most of us are right hand dominant and in a country where we read from left to right it would make perfect sense that the clothing industry would display their garments in the manner I expected...in a way that was not only efficient but also enabled a consumer to envision themselves wearing the garments when sliding them left to right (as a mannequin would mirror them).  

I went to a few stores ranging from low to high-end (The Salvation Army, Target, Khols, The GAP, Macy’s, J.Crew, Brooks Bothers, Nordstrom, Saks 5th Avenue, Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman). Every one of these retailers had their garments hung on  display racks in the same way. They were all hung so that you can move the items from left to right and quickly observe the shirt, dress, sweater or whatever, on the right hand side facing you as it would be in a mirror if you took the time to try it on. I was discussing this with an executive at Gap North America who told me that she had "spent some time in the fashion industry and explained that it was common knowledge, in retail, that the hanger should always be making a 'question mark' at the top when facing a customer in order to ensure uniformity. Not only on horizontal racks but on rounders [AKA: circular racks) and T-Racks as well. The reason being: so that whether right-handed customers are pulling the garments towards them or pushing the garments away, the garments are always facing the same direction and always 'mirroring' the [right-handed] customer." 

What these dry cleaners are doing by putting garments on hangers where the hook goes to the right instead of the left made me question why such a fundamental convenience was not availed to their customers. There was something to learn here in seeing how their system worked. It posed an interesting life-cycle of service opportunity to learn where the breakdown occurred and how I might prevent similar breakdowns in developing production management systems for restaurants… or for any service related business. I went back to my regular dry cleaner that week and told him that I once had an opportunity to work in a dry cleaner one summer as a boy and had always regretted it because of the mystery of what happens to the clothes when they go behind the wall. I told him that I found it very curious and asked if I could take a peek behind the curtain and see the Great and Powerful OZ. He agreed happily and even offered to show me how each station and each machine works. Not surprisingly, the entire process was a horse-shoe shaped assembly line that went from the left side of the store all the way around to the right of the store where the clothes were picked up. The clothes would travel this path of individual stations after being tagged and sorted by hand at the first station.

Some garments go to the laundering station and some skipped to the dry cleaning station (quite a machine!). After being cleaned, some go to the tailoring station while most go to the next station in a large canvas bin with wheels where they are fit over what looks like a large human figure / dummy. (Every dry cleaner has one and so they typically have a name. Theirs was named Suzie) Once the garment is fit over Suzie, the station operator steps on a large metal pedal that emits enough steam from within Suzie to puff out the garment and instantly steam it. After the steaming, some articles go to a long press and some go to a “hand-ironing” station. After each garment is steamed, pressed and or ironed, they are hung on hangers and pinned with a small numbered tag that corresponds to the number on the ticket originally given to the customer when they drop off their clothes. This whole process goes from left to right until the clothes are then bound together in sections with twisty ties and covered in plastic with the customer's receipt stapled to the plastic. The customer then picks up their order, pays and makes haste to their closet where the white noise of clothes hanging in the wrong direction ensues.

After my back stage tour, I explained how it all made sense to me why the garments were hung the direction they were on the hangers. I explained to the owner that it all made sense to me now and that I understood the garments are hung on the hangers the way they are because the assembly line moved from left to right and you always have the next station in the line receiving the garment from the left and facing them head-on….as is necessary. He smiled upon my “seeing the light” with an almost perceptible sense of satisfaction. I thanked him very much for my tour and left. What I didn’t share with him was that the problem with this process is that it values the employees’ need to see the garments in a convenient head-on fashion but not the end user or customers’ need to.

The owner of the dry cleaner mentioned, before I left, that if I was unhappy with the direction of the shirt on the hanger I could always change hangers as many other customers do. Not only do I find it hard to believe that even five percent of any dry cleaner’s customer are taking their shirts off of the wire hangers and putting them on some other sort of customized hanger in their closet, but if I had the time to do that, I’d probably be washing and pressing my own shirts.  

The easiest way to microfine this process is clearly for the owner/operator to change the direction of their assembly line from LEFT TO RIGHT to RIGHT TO LEFT. This would ensure everyone in-house and at home had the same advantage of viewing the garments in an advantageous fashion (pun intended).

This change would bear only a nominal expense of moving the machines and stations to the opposite side of the store. Doing this would maintain their current efficiency and likely increase their sales exponentially over time due to the fact that the service they are providing is largely identical to their competitors with one exception…they would have a growing base of customers who, perhaps inexplicably, prefer this dry cleaner over another even though they might not be cognizant as to precisely why. The fact, alone, that it would make a customer’s life even the tiniest bit easier, in my mind, is a strong enough case to change the conventional system this operator employs.

This one man’s kindness in offering me a behind-the-scenes  tour of his business, left me with an indelible reminder of the value in consciously considering the lifespan of any product or service beyond the initial point of transaction and the advantage of offering even the subtlest of convenience(s) for one’s customers in a competitive marketplace. 

Surveillance: I Spy With My Little Eye...

Earlier this morning, I was enjoying my own "time out" (AKA: In the bathroom) and was discovered by daughter who although now demands "a little privacy"  when she is on the potty… will not grant me any when I'm in there.

Upon looking at her tiny face comically frozen between the door frame and the door, It occurred to me that parenthood has bestowed upon me an awareness that most Americans don’t seem to share: The knowledge that no matter how quiet it may get, no matter how remote of a location you may find yourself in, no matter the hour or the day…there is always someone listening to every word and watching your every move(ment).

Perhaps privacy has been an illusion all along. A mythical thing as highly sought after as the holy grail. Like members in our household, there are a growing number of people in our cities as well...and privacy seems to elude us all.  In reading the controversial news of the NSA legally listening in on our phone calls and invading our privacy, I can't help but think that although there are millions more people in our cities now than there were in the Wild Wild West it seems to me that we still have the same level of privacy we had two centuries ago. 

Technology and the NSA have replaced the curious barkeep and the creepy evesdropper outside the saloon. Technology (in a sense) has been the great equalizer preventing us all (good or evil) from blending into the crowd.

 On April 11, 2013 Business Technology published and article by Catherine Bennett 

"A recent study in Scientific Reports entitled ‘Unique in the Crowd: The privacy bounds of human mobility’ reveals that only four data points from a mobile phone are needed to directly track and identify the user."...

Whenever a phone is switched on, its location can be identified through its connection to the network. But now it is not only location data that can be determined, but the actual identity of the user. In effect, if they own a mobile phone, it is impossible for anyone to be anonymous any more.

Yves-Alexandre de Montjoye, the lead researcher for the study, compared the process to fingerprinting.

“In the 1930s, it was shown that you need 12 points to uniquely identify and characterise a fingerprint”. The team, based at both MIT and the Université Catholique du Louvain in Belgium, did “the exact same thing but with mobility traces”. Mobility traces are the automatic paths our phones leave as we use them – whether we send a text, make a phone call or download an app

Andrew O'Connell reported just one month later, in May of 2013, on Harvard's Personal Genome Project: "In the name of science, 2,500 people have participated in Harvard's Personal Genome Project, anonymously sharing DNA data along with such information as histories of depression and sexually transmitted disease. But Harvard Privacy Lab director Latanya Sweeney demonstrates what "anonymous" really means. Of 579 participants who listed their birth dates, ZIP codes, and genders, her team was able to identify 42% by name using public records. Previously she was able to identify up to87% of the U.S. population with just ZIP code, birth date, and gender." SOURCE: Harvard Professor Re-Identifie

The sheer number of people on this planet are increasing exponentially every minute but the only thing that seems to be increasing regarding privacy over the years, is our expectation of having it…and the disappointing realization that we still don't...and likely never will.

 In May of 2013,The Business Insider Edition of the Associated Press released “Drones With Facial Recognition Technology Will End Anonymity, Everywhere” by Andrew Conte in which the almost science fiction capabilities of facial recognition and technological cross-referencing was used to successfully aid in the capture of the Boston Marathon bombers.

He wrote: “The technology, to be sure, remains in its infancy. Yet cyber experts believe it's only a matter of years — and research dollars — until computers can identify almost anyone instantly. Computers then could use electronic data to immediately construct an intimate dossier about the person, much of it from available information online that many people put out there themselves.

From seeing just the image of a face, computers will find its match in a database of millions of driver's license portraits and photos on social media sites. From there, the computer will link to the person's name and details such as their Social Security number, preferences, hobbies, family and friends. Adding that capability to drones that can fly into spaces where planes cannot — machines that can track a person moving about and can stay aloft for days — means that people will give up privacy as well as the concept of anonymity.”

Perhaps we shouldn't be too surprised that the NSA is just as capable of opening the bathroom door when we're sitting down, as a 3yr old... and from time to time probably will.

Risk & Expected Returns: The Applicability of Rock Paper Scissors

NEGOTIATING WITH:

My two laws regarding negotiating are simple:

1. Don't even begin the process until you are armed with an advisor who is experienced and appropriately incentivized

and

2. Don't counter if you can't walk away.

After three years as a Dad, my dimensional understanding of negotiating has broadened into recognizing the need to eliminate risk from the outset. This principle can be witnessed in our home quite regularly as I often pre-select two or more equally appropriate options and allow our daughter to choose one...or pre-select one option out of two that I know my daughter will find extremely undesirable. The result: a win-win 100% of the time. Slanting the field to my advantage is necessary. I can't win otherwise...and if i do, it's a Pyrrhic victory due to the loss of time and stress that ensues.

You’ve heard it before: “Negotiate like a 3 year old.” ...or is it “Negotiate like a 2yr old”?  Or is it "Don't negotiate with a 2 yr old"?  Regardless... dealing with young children can be difficult to say the least but insightful.  They are irrational. They won’t take “No” for an answer, They can have an unlimited supply of whining and tears to gradually wear you down and their idea of compromise is re-wording the same demand over and over. (I've faced clients like this as well).  These tactics reveal themselves both in daily "transaction interactions" and in the games children play themselves as well.

Take, for instance, Rock Paper Scissors. I thought about how this (like many other things my daughter has reintroduced me to) might translate into my line of  business….and here’s what I came up with:

A parallel application I call "Bully Beg Buy" which can be utilized upon entering into negotiations that are already in progress with two or more parties competing for the same thing.

BULLY (A.K.A. ROCK)

Bullying functions when one party inflicts fear on another and fear is a great motivator…not the best, but certainly stronger than calculated gains due to the fact that it breaks through the walls of logic and plays heavily on the emotional reaction to imagined physical or social suffering. The instinct to survive socially or even politically within one's professional circles can be the weaker party's Achilles' heel. The flip side of that coin, however is that in negotiations or transactions that involve more than just two parties, bullying as a means to attain an advantage over multiple parties may not work so well. For example: One party pressuring another party to sell to them. In this simple bilateral negotiation, the selling party may be under duress to sell to the bullying party and so the tactic works…but add to this equation another variable such as an additional interested party or a trilateral (or tripartite) agreement upon which the bilateral negotiations rely. The later party’s consideration supporting the promise of the other two parties, (a contingency by definition) is imperative. In a case such as this or in any where there are more than two parties, it is unlikely that the bullying will have an equal impact across degrees of separation. I have seen this diluted pressure often result in the third party coming to the table out of undue influence... but eventually finding and exercising a way to circumvent the transaction via a loop-hole or by intentionally causing some contingency to fail being met prior to closing. “Bully” is vulnerable and that vulnerability resides, predominately, on an emotional level…which brings us to the power of "BEG".

BEG (A.K.A. PAPER)

Consult any management or social psychology reference and you will learn that people like talking about themselves. It’s because of the developed ego and sense of self in which we take great stock. People like to feel important. The #1 word used in every language around the globe is “I”…it is for this reason that, all things being equal, when one party (in the case mentioned above: the selling party) is presented with an opportunity to feel strong, important, powerful and/or benevolent, they will most often choose that over the opportunity to feel like a victim. Especially if a negotiation is already in progress and the pressure of "BULLY" is being felt. It’s in this instance that the bullying has likely been taking an emotional toll on the selling party and "BEG" not only offers some relief but also presents a safe exit.

BUY (A.K.A. SCISSORS)

Although "BEG" beats "BULLY", bullying and the desire for physical, social or political preservation are often outweighed by the desire for financial gain. After all, what good is money if your dead or worse…a social, political or business-world outcast? "BUY", however does beat "BEG" and it's benefit of making someone feel benevolent. Nothing makes most people feel more powerful, smart or strong than significant financial gain…remember, they can always imagine purchasing social or political collateral such as popularity and be a little benevolent / charitable with some of those large profits later.

Like Rock Paper Scissors, the trick to this method of negotiating relies heavily on two rather large assumptions. The first: that you know which hand all competing parties are going to throw (thus the arena defined as: negotiations already in progress) and two: that no two parties throw the same hand.

Swim With The Sharks: Swimming Lessons at The Local College

"The single greatest mistake a manager can make is not getting out of the way! Provide goals, resources, and leadership... Knowing when to get out of the way is the key."

-Harvey Mackay: Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive

Going Viral: So Many Viruses That We Missed A Bacterial Infection

We almost had to postpone a trip back to Philadelphia because Catherine couldn't shake a terrible cough and runny nose. We took her to the doctor and she was put on a heavy dose of antibiotics to treat what appeared to be a sinus infection caused by a situation that hadn't previously resolved itself when she was last on the "Amox". This time we treated it with not only the antibiotics but also with regular nasal clearings using a can of saline spray and 27 boxes of Puffs with aloe. 

Much to our surprise, it came back 2 weeks later. We attributed it to the fact that it's the height of allergy season and our 3yr old little girl still sucks her two fingers... presumably after touching everything and anything germ-infested at home, school and under the dogs. After all, a pattern of illness seemed to be developing of 2 weeks on and two weeks off...which could have also been a result of this being her first year of school and thus a bit more social interaction.

Since the fevers were few and far between, we let it go and just continued to arm ourselves like guerrilla fighters with ibuprofen and travel sized packs of tissues.  We realized, 11 days later, that this was not letting-up as as much as we thought it would and scheduled an appointment with her pediatrician. Upon looking into her mouth, this mild mannered and seasoned physician exclaimed: "Wow! Disgusting! Come here and take a look at this!" I looked in Catherine's throat while Dr. Nelson illuminated walnut sized tonsils with an otoscope. It was plain as day... and I was, all at once, ridden with guilt and embarrassed for not having even looked before. If I had, I would not have mistaken those white veins wound around her tonsils like heavy marbling on a steak.

She took a culture after pronouncing with great certainty that it was "Strep". The long cotton swabs emerged from the back of Catherine's tiny throat covered in yellow mucus with specks of blood. I played with my stoic daughter for 15 minutes while we waited for the results of the "quick test". 

Although it came back negative we were sure that it was either false...or at least would be positive within 24 hours... so we proceeded to get back on the antibiotic wagon before the coughing through the night left both my wife and I with more than broken hearts and an not-enough sleep. So, now she's missing her first day of Swimming Lessons and I'm calling off the Nanny so that we can watch as many episodes of "Tree Fu Tom" as I can handle.

Privacy Notice: Going Potty All Alone

Today was the first time I stood guard outside a ladies room (albeit a single-service unit) for my 3 yr old daughter.  We were at her doctor's office when she had to "go" and after gently setting her into position she told me: "It's O.K. Daddy, I can do it myself now." I stood back as her shoulders dropped and her eyes narrowed with great focus. Her serious little face turned to me and in a strained voice she said "May I have a bit of privacy please?" I told her "Of course!...shall I stand over here by the door?" and she paused before thoughtfully offering an alternative: "You can stand on the other side of the door".  I smiled and tried not to laugh. I told her that I would as long as she promised to call me when she was all done. She nodded in agreement and I softly closed the door...ever so gently...not all the way...but a little more than half-way...just enough for the metal parts to touch...but not click and potentially lock accidentally.  I stood so proudly outside that door almost hoping someone would ask me what I was doing there.

Comparison Approach: The Tempering Pace & Humilty of The Midwest

Although there is something to be said for the increased level of awareness and sense of urgency that living in a big city of over 1MM people imparts, a slower pace can be refreshing and forgiving by comparison...as long as, like snow skiing, its in a predictable fashion and to the right:)

Speaking of staying right, there are a few things I am finding difficult getting used to in South Dakota. One of the surprising challenges has been adapting to more self-deprecation than we've ever encountered.

Whenever we're outed as not being native South Dakotans, we are asked about where we're from. The conversation invariably leads to the question: "So how do you like South Dakota compared to Philadelphia?"...and before we have a chance to answer, we are met with lines like: "Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings..." or "I'm sure its not as nice is it?"

Sometimes I think we have a better opinion of Sioux Falls, South Dakota than some of the folks who are from here. As a good friend of mine, Dr. Mason Cobb pointed out: "There is very little we are "doing without" here...rather there is so much we're "doing with." and I couldn't agree more. The amenities and services from foodstuffs (Fresh seafood flown in to Cleaver's Market from Hawaii regularly) to arts & culture (South Dakota Symphony and Russian Ballet performances at the Washington Pavillion) abound. 

Perhaps its because even after having pre-conceived notions, of days filled with hunting buffalo and making mead wine, dispelled; some people still hold fast to their prejudices and find it hard to let go of the feeling that they are much bigger than everyone else. The fact I find curious is not that the Midwest has a reputation that pre-dates it's recent "Renaissance" but rather the fact that the mindset of Midwesterners has not evolved in-stride with their cities.  It reminds me of some contestants on "The Biggest Loser" who even after shedding over one hundred pounds,  getting into unbelievable shape and receiving a total beauty and fashion make-over...still hold a perceptible awkwardness in their posture. Perhaps the Midwest is better this way. There is something more attractive about a beautiful woman who doesn't know (or carry herself as if she knows) just how beautiful she really is (Diane Lane). This Midwest humility, whether self deprecating due to a long-standing inferiority complex or out of a genuine nature of modesty will take some getting used to. Regardless, I think we'll all be the better by being tempered by it.

Replication: A Few Interesting Similarities Between South Dakota and Pennsylvania

Far from being South Dakota's doppleganger, Philadelphia, PA has a population density 10xs greater than that of Sioux Falls, SD and is mentioned in way more songs... but there are some interesting similarities between the two.

Although Pennsylvania is aptly named for the amount of lush foliage and bucolic rolling tree-covered hills that more often call to mind more European landscapes than those of the open and primarily flat prairies of the Midwest; both states share a relatively similar size and shape.

The physical location of each state's major city: PA's Philadelphia and SD's Sioux Falls are not only located in the southeast corners of their respective state but also share the unique proximity to several other regional hubs a relatively short drive away. For Sioux Falls it's: Omaha, Nebraska,   Minneapolis-St.Paul, Minnesota  and Des Moines, Iowa whereas Philadelphia is proximal to: Wilmington, DE,   New York City,   Cherry Hill, New Jersey,  Baltimore, Maryland  and Washington, D.C. .

Both States have major "sister cities" a 5-6hr drive to the west. In Philadelphia it's Pittsburgh and in Sioux Falls, it's Rapid City. Both of which are the state's largest city closest to it's western boarders and neither one really has a hockey team.

Both states share significance with regards to historic battles (Indian Wars vs. Wars for Independence) and are home to some of America's most inspiring symbols of freedom and democracy as well...most notably: Mt. Rushmore, Independence Hall & The Liberty Bell. 

Both states also share some space with more socially (and electronically) independent sub-cultures of religious groups founded largely in-part by men named Jakob. In PA, the Jakob Ammann formed Amish & Mennonites and in SD, the Jakob Hutter founded Huttterites. Both trace their roots back to to the Radical Reformation of the 16th century and are easily identified by their simple living, plain dress and wonderful baked goods at local farmers' markets.

Fortune Magazine and US News both conduct annual reviews and ratings for over 24,000 public schools throughout the country. The more notable (ie; Radnor, Lower Merion, Haverford, Trediffryn/Easttown, Unionville-Chadsford, etc...) in the affluent western suburbs of Philadelphia  (known as the Main Line) rank in the high 700s to low 800s out of 24,000+....ironically the same rankings as the local public schools in Sioux Falls, SD (namely: Roosevelt, Lincoln and Harrisburg.) Whether we elect to send our daughter to public or private school, the fact remains that public school systems this strong, speak volumes about both areas politically as well as culturally. 

We've only been here for about four months so stay tuned for more interesting similarities between these two states.... 

Lifestyle Center: Children's Beds That Create Live-Work-Play Bedrooms.

Catherine loves sleeping in our bed because it's "so comfy!"...and it is! We couldn't wait until we found a big-girl bed in which to place her very own plush-top Heavenly Bed.

I stopped inside a shop a few months ago called: "Kids 2 College Furniture" which I had, mistakenly, assumed was a "dorm-room" furniture shop for teens and 18yr old "kids [going] 2 college". I poked my head in to check it out after my 3yr old daughter spotted miniature hand painted rocking chairs outside their front door. I was amazed to find Full and Twin beds for children that convert ( I know what you're thinking as I bought a "convertible" crib-bed that meant: gradually taking it apart piece-by-piece until there were no walls left around the mattress) from bunk bed castles for boys and girls to modular study/homework centers under loft beds with hidden Murphy beds for guests (that are as easy to pull down as opening a drawer) or four-poster canopy beds.  

I was stoked to find this place as my wife and I had been trying to convince Catherine that she would love a "Princess Bed" (4 poster with canopy) but she insisted that she needs "a bed with a ladder so that Alligators can't get [her]" and so that she can "rescue her dolls from mud-slides below with [her] Diego lasso".

Check out their website: http://www.kids2collegefurniture.com.  One of these "build-your-own" display models, in particular, has a bunk bed with a slide that converts from a castle themed play area. The ladders are at much more gradual incline than Pottery Barn beds and the extra wide "rungs"/steps are grooved for additional traction. All this and a safety railing for additional peace of mind.  The guy came after breakfast and the whole thing was put together in time to load the shelves with books before nap time.

Re-Branding: Omega 3s In Disguise

Here's the step-by-step for my Honey* Salmon Nuggets that a few have asked for.

*1-2tbsp of melted honey in the egg and also drizzled on top once out of the oven.

Response Time: Another Quick Re-Heat Meal

Hot Dog, Asparagus & Mozzarella Filled Pillsbury Crescent Rolls. Ready in like... 10mins. I freeze these and then re-heat them in the toaster oven (or microwave) for a fast meal when time gets away from me...as it occasionally does.

Healthy Competition: Too Young To Compete

First Lady Michelle Obama (via Twitter @FLOTUS), the USDA, the U.S. Department of Education, and Epicurious have joined together again for the second Healthy Lunchtime Challenge in which contestants are asked to submit their best original lunch recipes inspired by MyPlate (the USDA's user-friendly guide to healthy eating).

Sounded like something right up my alley. However, only children ages 8 through 12 and their parents / guardians are invited to compete... which leaves me and 3yr old Catherine Ruth ineligible.

Here are a few of the favorites we were discussing before reading all of the rules and terms: 

BURGER, FRIES & SHAKE

BURGER-

1lb 98% lean ground turkey

Salt & Pepper to taste

4-6 Green Onions

1-2 Egg Whites

½ cup Panko Bread Crumbs

1Tblsp Flax Seeds (We prefer minced pan roasted garlic)

Splash of Soy Sauce

Splash of Worstershire

Splash of Rice Wine Vinegar

1 tsp Montreal Seasoning Mix

8-10oz Chopped White Button Mushrooms

12oz Chopped Fresh Leaf Spinach (remove stems)

1 med Tomato chopped

Mix All Ingredients Well and use ice cream scooper to portion on skillet coated with cooking spray and set to medium high heat. Smash down with spatula and cook approx. 10-15 minutes on each side until slightly browned. Top with low fat colby jack, fresh avocado and serve in whole-wheat or multi grain bun

FRIES-

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Julienne fresh Sweet Potato.

Toss in bowl with spray light Olive Oil.

Salt & Pepper to taste.

Bake in Oven for 20 mins.

SHAKE-

Sliced Banana and whole or frozen Strawberries  (My daughter prefers ripe red pears)

2% Vanilla Greek Yogurt

1Tblsp Honey (My daughter prefers Nutella)

1-2 cup Crushed Ice

Splash of Apple Juice (or fruit juice of preference)

Blend All ingredients until smooth and serve with extra wide colorful milkshake straw.

PANDA DOGS n PEAR COOKIES

DOGS-

Jennie-O (or other brand) 98% Fat Free Turkey Dogs split in the middle.

Fresh Asparagus (AKA: Bamboo to Catherine) lightly grilled then placed in split hot dog.

2% Mozzarella Cheese lined on-top of asparagus spear resting in split hot dog.

Whole Grain or Whole Wheat Pillsbury (or other brand) refrigerated pastry dough.

Completely wrap dough around hot dog and asparagus topped with cheese.

Serve with baked beans.

PEAR COOKIES-

Nutella lighted smeared between Slices of Red Pear like sandwiches and then cut into different shapes.

SB&J* SUSHI

Fresh Multi-Grain Bread rolled flat after removing crusts (or flat bread)

Spread Sunbutter or Peanut butter (crunchy or smooth) on bread.

Finely Julienne Granny Smith Apples.

Create a “raft” of julienned apple atop Sunbutter.

Red Grapes (or Concord Grapes) lined-up in a row across apples length-wise.

Roll up ingredients with sushi mat (or a flexible placemat) then slice into disks.

Create “Kid’s 2min Chopsticks” in two minutes by following instructions at: http://dbadaddy.com/blog/2013/4/26/the-right-tools-for-the-right-job-chopsticks-for-kids

Serve with:

Remaining Red Grapes

Baby Carrots (boiled in water with 1Tsp of honey)

Steamed Edamame

Grahm Crackers (broken into ¼ pieces)

Chocolate Milk

*We sometimes substitute the SB&J Roll with my daughter’s favorite cereal coated cubes of salmon (cube fresh salmon, soak in milk, coat with ground Quaker Corn Bran Squares or Oatmeal Brown Sugar Squares, drop in egg wash, then in 2nd bowl of ground cereal then pan fry). 

Connectivity: Reaching a Target Market of 2-5yr Olds

A good friend of mine asked my opinion on an app that he and his wife are developing. They are creative designers and academics. Therefore it came as no surprise that the app was aesthetically pleasing and educationally focused...but there was no addictive quality to it. There was nothing cute or fun or silly about it. After learning that his target market was 2-5yr olds (and their parents), I remembered something my 3yr old daughter taught me: 

It's much more fun to make and take pretend phone calls from a fresh banana than it is from an old cell phone.

When marketing to children, it's imperative to remember two things:

First - Children want to have fun.

Second- They want to do things All-By-Them-Selves.  

If you wrap up something good, healthy or educational in that...it's as good as sold. 

When things are too "high-brow" or only "mentally healthy", it's on a shelf that is within a parent's sight-line but too high for a child to see. When it's all "silliness and cartoons"  it's on the bottom shelf and only within easy reach of a toddler. The trick is to get the product or service placed right in the middle so that both audiences can see the value.

At the end of the day we, as parents, are often willing to indulge the desires of our children...so long as they aren't unhealthy or dangerous, we'll allow it.

I think a distinct "fun factor" woven into their brand equity...and thus all of their apps wouldn't mean they would be abandoning their reputation for serious childhood development...It would result, more, in a brand that holds a certain..."creative monotony" like the "TOCA" apps. Each one predictable but fun and unique. Beyond enticing to today's demanding children... and if masking some formative developmental process or educational exercise, likely to serve parents in a similar fashion as melted cheese on broccoli.  

Mixed Use: Her Favorite Cereal Makes Healty Dinners More Appealing

(Favorite) Cereal Crusted Salmon. Catherine ate half of this!​